I was talking to a friend the other day, who is having some problems in his relationship of four years, and I asked him:
Are you at least happy together?
He looked at me incredulously and said of course not.
What is the point of life relationships when so many people exist in unhappy relationships. You hurt yourself and your partner and add to the cesspool of unhappiness in the world.
Now can we take a step back to the realisation that if you can't love and respect yourself first than no one else can. If you can't put your needs and desires first than no one else will. And if you haven't found your happiness as a state of being within you, you will never be happy in a relationship because it will be a conditional relationship.
To find your own happiness (not as a emotion, it is a state of being) one needs to focus ones attention inwards, this is the beginning of the journey of questioning and verifying your truth for yourself.
It is not about what your partner does or doesn't do, it is about looking at yourself and your reaction and responses, it is an inward inquiry to peel back your layers of 'maya' to reveal the essence of your self. It is the beginning of self discovery and it is a particularly beautiful journey.
You will also begin to notice when you are in nature or with certain people you feel 'stronger' i.e. more energy and then you quickly become aware when you are around people who drain you.
If you are in an unhappy relationship it will be draining you, however if you are still enmeshed by always looking outwards with the associated fears then you will not see it.
And what is the purpose of your life?
Your life is a gift, born as a free spirit you are the vehicle for the expression of the full potential of yourself.
Are we solitary in life? It is very easy to be by yourself, you can have some lovely conversations with yourself:) Yet we were never meant to be alone, we become thin and brittle and can never evolve to be all that we are.
Because there is an internal longing to connect, we see this all through nature, it is the yin and yang balance, it is the union and ever evolving spiral of energy we call life. It is the heart energy that is a cauldron of love and fire.
Let us begin to redefine relationships as ecstatic loving powerful unions between two people, where each person contributes to the others individual growth. The dance of moving in and out in an ever spiralling movement of energy that brings each to a heightened state of being and potential.
And with this ever growing awareness one becomes present with each other, not always lost in the chaos of the mind. In being present, how beautiful to be able to feel the thousand gentle kisses on the face, the moments spent together and the gentle caresses of two youthful spirits in harmony.
Relationships not based on Self sacrifice but Self love.
A pair of Brolgas at Te Kapowai Sanctuary.
These guys have it figured out.
Reference: A State of Mind - happiness beyond all anxiety. Author: Megan Ward
Available on Amazon